Honda Jazz

My time with a reasonably small car

Is it cool?. Erm, it isn’t. But, and here’s the thing; it’s not uncool. This review will tell you about a small car that has many features some big cars don’t have and one that is fun to drive around town.

A little under 3 years ago I took delivery of a new 22 plate Honda Jazz EX I-MMD CVT. It’s not everybody’s cup of tea, but, for a small mild hybrid it packs a lot of goodies and some clever design features. They stopped making this one in May 2023, but as a used car it is worth considering. Prices will be between £17,000 and £20,000 for one like mine.

Let me start by opining that all small cars are ultimately depressing. They just don’t flick that switch that gives you assurance on the road and a sense of being there, or really, a sense of occasion. Other drivers can be contemptuous of them and on long journeys they are literally a pain in the ass. The Jazz, like all its rivals, is a shopping trolly on wheels. In town, if even if your car has a little Abarth sticker on it or spoilers, you are not going to pass the law abiding citizen in front of you, who insists on doing 22mph and has an uncanny ability to stop dead for no reason.

That said, this one was bought to do a specific job; It was to be a town car that could transport a granny in comfort. It had to be operable by Mrs Arrius, who temporarily lacked a functional left leg, due to a dreadful car meets bicycle issue. It needed to be economical. The Jazz ticked all the boxes and I decided to go for the top spec one with all the trinkets. I have to say that this had all the trappings of a distress purchase.

The one leg requirement came about because of a smashed ankle (that was the least of the injuries) but it was clear that my manual Beetle, with its heavy clutch and cramped interior was not going to be much use for at least a year or two. Plus we acquired a granny.

I don’t like dark cars. I don’t like black interiors. They give me the willies. Sure, all the switches and knobs stick out in the darkness, but is that a plus? Not for me - it does not take long to learn where they are. They just feel creepy. I like lots of light, so I went for a light interior with lots of cream leather trim.

Inside, of the features I like are heated steering wheel, heated seats, jacuzzi, fast de-misting on all the windows and door mirrors and a general feeling of good all-round vision. The leg room at the back is good and then there are Honda’s famous ‘magic seats’ that lift up to provide plenty of room for the aspidistra you just bought at the garden centre. If you are ferrying the elderly and infirm around, the Jazz comes into its own. All of the doors open wide, so all that shuffling and manoeuvring is made a bit easier. It’s generally comfy too.

Driving it in town is a doddle. There is a ‘Brake Hold’ switch which means that, when you apply the brakes in traffic, it will act like a handbrake. To disengage it you just put your foot on the accelerator. There is no forward creep that you get in most automatics. It’s the only gadget I use all the time. The Jazz accelerates fast between 0 and 25 mph - because it uses the electric motor. This leaves conventional cars behind. There really is no reason to need more power at this end. Then there is economy and I am not lying when I say that in 6000 miles the mpg has not dipped below 59. It mostly registers and regular and reassuring 65 or more.

Now for the irritating extras. Honda are just as bossy as the Germans when it comes to ‘safety’ features. The worst is lane deviation, which you cannot permanently turn off. When driving in town there is hardly a journey goes by when you do not cross a white line or two that it doesn’t like. Disturbingly, it takes control of your steering wheel and makes it judder. It doesn’t happen a lot, but I wish it wouldn’t happen at all. Then there is a silly kind of audio fanfare that seems to happen randomly. I have never worked out how or why. While the parking cameras are helpful, most of the time they will alert you if you are about to drive into a snow drop or a crisp packet. In 6000 miles it just might, just might have saved me from backing into another car in a car park. A lot of the other stuff is useless. I have never encountered a journey yet where cruise control was a preferred option. This is not the highway to Wyoming, it is the drudge through any British town anywhere. I don’t bother with the limiter either. I suppose it might be useful on a really long average speed restriction, but really, you should be pretty much alert to your speed anyway.

As far as reliability is concerned, this motor is 100% reliable. Not exciting, but reliable.

Lessons learned

Modern cars take a lot of the work out of working the car when you are driving. I mean, it’s easy to forget that they all come with anti-lock braking and traction control, unless you also have a classic car that doesn’t. I am afraid I am somewhat hooked on the creature comforts. I want to listen to Radio Three when I am stuck in traffic and don’t want a cold bum in the winter. On a long journey, the seats in the Honda are remarkably comfortable. I was not aware of the phenomenon that gentlemen road users get; driver’s scrotum. For a town car, I would give the Honda 4 out of five stars. That’s probably being mean, because what irritates me about it are the safety features. As far as space and comfort are concerned it is very good. It accelerates up to motorway speed reasonably well and can get a move on if you spot an opportunity.

I still don’t like small cars.

Sadly, we no longer have the granny, (the ejector seat came in handy on that one) but on the plus side, Mrs Arrius is back to full physical health. What the Honda lacked was its role as a long distance cruiser. Hardly surprising really, but for a town car it is certainly worth a look.

What next you ask? Well, Now that all you ever see these days are SUVs, Estate cars are cool! As I shuffle gracefully into my 71st year, I want something that is not going to raise eyebrows in Privet Lane. What I want is a bit of luxury and something that reflects the good things about modern car technology. I want a nice sound system so that I can play Mantovani or The Grateful Dead as if they were in the back seat. (There is a lot of room in the back) I could afford a Mercedes but really, why?

We have ordered a Plug-in hybrid, Skoda Superb Estate, Laurin and Klement edition with cognac interior, sun roof, bum warming and bum cooling and bum massaging, and 14 speakers. The back seats have limo-like leg space and of course, separate climate control. It’s around 50k to get one, which is more than I have ever spent on a car and do not plan to do so again. I try not to think about it.

As I write, someone in Bratislava is building it, alongside its virtual twin, the Passat.

There is a reasonable review of it HERE . The test drive assured me that it’s the kind of car I can live with and also one I can pass on to one of the kids when they take away my drivers licence. We are not talking Corniche or De Tomaso Pantera, but to be honest, I have other worries and I don’t want to be stared at and I don’t want it to be nicked. (No chance of that, TA, fnaaa, fnaaa!)

Review to follow, when I have worked out the infotainment system.